Beauty from Pain
by Emberwillow14
Summary: "Corners are good," she tried to convince herself. "Corners easiest to defend." When she opened ehr eyes she was crying harder. All she could think was that she was broken, tainted. She felt raw and destroyed.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! Well this is the first chapter of just a short story that's been buzzing inside my head. I wanted to explore what _could_ have happened at the dance if Fitz had decided to hurt Eli by hurting Clare. So I hope you enjoy this first chapter, and check out some of the other Degrassi one-shots that I've posted :)**

**I don't own anything here but my plot.**

He stalked her into a corner. _Corners are good_, she tried to convince herself. _Corners are easiest to defend._

His eyes were hungry, sending fear-filled chills down her spine. She felt her back press against the wall, but still he came towards her, his eyes drinking her in greedily, like the eyes of a lion as he prepares to pounce. Her eyebrows furrowed and she tried to appeal to his moral side. "Please, Fitz, just leave me alone."

He grinned maliciously. His hand reached up to press against the wall next to her head. She gasped at the thump and looked over to his hand, then back to his suddenly close face. "Fitz, no," she tried to say, but he pressed his hips against hers and breathed in sharply at the contact. Clare let out a gasp of surprise and disgust and tried to move away from him, but he pressed her harder against the wall, locking his hands around her wrists, holding them against the wall.

She shut her eyes and locked her lips together and thrashed around, trying to get Fitz off of her. She didn't see his triumphant smile, but she felt his lips on hers, trying to part them to gain access to her mouth. She shook harder, then, when she felt him barely slide past her lips, opened her mouth and bit the intruding pink tongue, hard.

Fitz pulled back, taking his hands away from her wrists to wipe the blood from his mouth. "You little _bitch_." She thought that if this were any other occasion she would have scoffed at his lack of imaginative words, but at that present moment she was making a beeline for the door of the locker room. She'd just barely made it when she felt a hand fist in her hair and yank her back. She fell to the floor and hit her head against the concrete floor with a loud and sickening _crack_.

She saw Fits smirk at her through the black spots clouding her vision. He moved down to straddle her hips and, when she tried to fight him off, backhanded her across the face, causing her world to go black. The last thing she felt was Fitz slowly taking off her dress.

When she woke up she was naked and her clothes were strewn across the locker-room floor. Clare scooted herself into the nearest corner and wrapped her arms protectively around her body. She looked around for Fitz, but he had long since cleared out. She felt tears falling from her eyes, but couldn't find the strength within herself to wipe them away.

Clare kept staring at the door nervously, scared Fitz would come back and rape her again. She closed her eyes but cried out when she did. Fitz's face smirked back at her, victorious, as if he had finally beat Eli. He'd finally won in their war.

When she opened her eyes she was crying harder. Hiccups sounded in between sobs as she lay there. She didn't even think to pick up her clothes and put them on. All she could think was that she was broken, tainted. She felt raw and destroyed.

"Goddamnit, Fitz," Eli cursed under his breath. He hadn't heard from Clare in hours and the dance had already ended thirty minutes ago. Alli had called him when she couldn't find Clare after the dance and he heard her blonde friend say she saw Fitz leading Clare out of the dance and down the hall.

Eli had hurried to the school as soon as he could, but, though he'd been searching for her for ten minutes, he was unable to find Clare. He was about to give up when, near the gym locker-rooms, he heard a loud cry. He dashed in the direction the sound had come and his heart broke when he saw Clare in the corner of the boy's P.E. locker-room, crouched in a corner, her clothes strewn about lazily.

"Clare," he said, catching her off-guard by the judge of her flinch. She looked up at him with large doe eyes and he saw the tears and red-rimmed eyes. He rushed to her side and tried to touch her to help her up and get dressed but she flinched away from his hands and cried out as if he'd burned her.

"Fitz did this," he spat between clenched teeth. He was going to kill Fitz this time. He'd warned him and now he'd sealed his fate. Eli looked helplessly at Clare, wanting to help but not knowing what to do.

"Clare, tell me what you need," he pleaded. Seeing her like this—it killed him. This was entirely his fault. If he had just seen to it that Fitz was locked away forever Clare wouldn't have had to go through this.

When he first walked in she thought he was Fitz. Even after he'd moved to her side she thought he'd hurt her. She was scared, seeing Fitz everywhere she looked. He was against the wall, smirking; sitting on the bench, grinning; sliding down the door, malicious, hungry. He was right next to her, reaching out to touch her again.

Only when he began to talk did it begin to register in her discombobulated mind that it was Eli sitting next to her, trying to help her. She looked at him in a new light, as a savior, as refuge. She pleaded at him with her eyes, urging him to know what to do when she herself didn't. "Eli," she whimpered, more tears streaming down her face. It seemed they would never stop raining moisture down her cheeks.

He reached out to her again, slowly, placing his hand on her arm gently. When she didn't pull away he reached out to cup her cheek and wipe away some of the tears. He looked heartbroken to her, upset, like a child who just found out his cat had been run over by a car.

She cried harder at the look in his eyes.

He needed to find her her clothes and get her to the hospital. He knew she wouldn't want to go, but that was the best place for her at that moment, if only for them to get a positive ID on that bastard Fitz. This time he wouldn't stop until he was behind bars.

When he began to stand Clare grabbed onto his arm tightly. "Where are you going?" she asked quietly.

"I was going to get you your clothes to help you get dressed," he said just as softly. When he felt her hand loosen he stood up and hurried around the room, collecting her things. When he crouched once again in front of her she was folded further in upon herself. "Clare, I need to get you to a hospital," he said, pleading with her.

She looked at him, still silently crying, and shook her head. His eyebrows furrowed and he tried again. "Clare, we need to get you looked at. I'm," he had to pause, lest his voice crack from strain, "worried about you. I hate to see you like this, hate to see you broken."

She looked up into his eyes then, pain and despair present in hers.

Her mind had regressed into the most primal of stages, focusing on protecting itself and its host body. Everything screamed at her to trust Eli and go to the hospital, but her mind would not allow it. When she looked into his eyes again, when she saw the worry for her in them, she conceded tentatively to his plan and unfolded her arms from around her body. Eli helped her carefully to her feet and slid her bra onto her chest, hooking it in the back. Clare pulled on her panties and allowed Eli to help her with the dress.

His hands were delicate as they brushed against her skin, his touch intimate, but in the chastest of ways. She tried to remain calm, but when he tried to lead her out of the room and into the school she cried out and ran to her corner, crouching in it again.

She was so broken. He never wanted to see her like this, ever. He'd promised himself, after he realized the true extent of his feelings for her, that he would not let anything bad happen. So why was she crouched in a corner, fearing for her life?

Eli walked slowly over to Clare and pulled out his cell phone. "I'm going to call for an ambulance, Clare. When they get here I'll let them take you and will follow in Morty."

Clare shook her head and reached out for him in panic. "No. I need you here. With me." Her brain wasn't thinking in complete thoughts. It was scattered and disjointed, but kept screaming, "_Eli. Safe. Eli. Safe._" She trusted that more than anything at that point.

Eli nodded and said, "I'll go with you, then." When she nodded he dialed nine-one-one and spoke briefly to the operator. When he put his phone in his pocket again he wrapped his fingers around Clare's a sat with her. Fifteen minutes rolled by and he heard sirens outside of the front doors of the school.

When voices called out for them, Eli called back. Two male paramedics entered the room and looked at Eli and Clare. When their eyes fell on the broken girl they approached slowly. "Hello, ma'am. My name is Ryan; I'm a paramedic. This is Bryce. We are here to help you." The paramedic named Ryan stopped a good distance away from Clare.

Eli felt Clare's hand squeeze his tighter. "It's ok, Clare, they are here to take us to the hospital," Eli whispered softly. Clare looked into his eyes pleadingly, but she nodded and let him help her to stand. The other paramedic, Bryce, pulled the stretcher they'd brought in with them in front of Clare. He motioned for her to sit down on it and, with prompting from Eli, she complied.

The trip to the hospital was horrendous. Clare was nervous the entire way and refused to let go of Eli's hand. Even when they had reached the hospital she wouldn't let go, not when they performed the rape kit on her, not when they called her parents, not when they gave her the morning-after-pill and Eli made her swallow it down.

He hurt to see her in this kind of pain. This wasn't right. She wasn't smiling, or speaking, and the twinkle in her beautiful eyes was missing—they were dull and lifeless. She was scaring him, and he didn't know how to help.

The nurse came back to the room to inform the pair of teens that Clare's parents were unreachable. Clare was to be admitted to the hospital for over-night observation, but Eli was going to have to return home.

_That_ got a reaction from Clare. When they told her that Eli had to go home she immediately protested. He had to stay, she demanded, because he was the only one she trusted.

After much fighting with the nurse, Eli was allowed to stay the night with Clare.

**Well what did you think?**

**Let me know!**

**Em =]**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the second chapter! Thank you to everyone that reviewed the first chapter! Your reviews made me feel so accomplished, so I tried my best with this chapter! Please let me know what you think! **

**recap: _That_ got a reaction from Clare. When they told her that Eli had to go home she immediately protested. He had to stay, she demanded, because he was the only one she trusted. After much fighting with the nurse, Eli was allowed to stay the night with Clare.**

Once Clare was admitted she was put in a room by herself. There was a sofa and a lamp and not much else. To Eli, the room felt gloomy and depressing, and that was something coming from him. Clare's hand held onto his tightly as the nurse set up the call button and explained everything to the two teens. Clare would not be allowed to leave the next day until she was picked up by a parent or guardian.

Once the nurse left Clare shifted on the bed and motioned for Eli to lie down next to her. "Clare—" Eli began, but she cut him off with a shake of her head. She patted the bed next to where she lied and insisted he lie down next to her. With a small sigh he climbed up onto the bed and opened his arms. Clare folded herself against his body, her head resting on his chest.

Eli looked down at the fragile girl in his arms. Her skin was nearly translucent in what little light the lamp shed on the two, and her hair fell limply around her head. He brushed the hair out of her face lightly, pulling it back so that it didn't bother her skin. He heard her whimper softly and pulled his hand back.

Eli worried Clare would never be alright again. Rape did things to people, changed them. He hoped Clare would be able to go back to some semblance of what she used to be, but knew that was practically impossible. But as he sat there, looking down at the girl that had changed his world, he knew he couldn't leave her. For as long as she wanted him, he'd be there for her.

Clare's mind kept revolving around Fitz. As much as she tried to think of Eli, or something else entirely, she couldn't stop replaying what had happened in her mind. His eyes, his hands, the way he made her feel so powerless. She hated Fitz for what he did to her. That understanding bit deeply into her. She'd never hated anyone—had always learned not to hate. But what Fitz had done to her had hurt her worse than anything she had ever faced, still hurt, and she hated him for that.

She felt extremely exhausted as she rested her cheek against Eli's chest, and, comforted by the warmth of his body, she fell asleep.

Eli drifted in and out of consciousness until, finally, at two in the morning he stayed asleep. Clare's sharp voice rang out in the room, waking Eli up, and the scream that followed sharpened his senses. Clare was shaking next to him, crying and screaming, "NO! Don't touch me! Please, DON'T!"

Eli tried to wake her up by putting his hands on her shoulders and calling her name above her screams, but soon found out that Clare was a heavy sleeper with a mean right hook, as her right hand contacted with his cheek as she struggled against her dream attacker.

Not concerned in the least bit for his own safety, Eli leaned over her and held Clare's hands down against the bed. She tried to kick him, but he was just out of her reach. "Clare, CLARE!" he yelled. Her body shook with one massive tremor, then she was still and her eyes blinked open.

"Eli?" she asked tentatively. When he saw her bright blue eyes he sighed quietly in relief. "What happened?"

Eli shook his head and shifted his weight back, letting go of her wrists. "You were having a nightmare."

Clare's eyes widened in fear as the dream replayed in her mind's eye. When she started to cry Eli hastily shushed her and pulled her into a hug. She cried against his chest as all her memory of Fitz and the day before flooded back. She felt dirty all over again.

Eli held her tightly as she let out her tears. He stroked her hair and pressed her securely against him. _This isn't right_, he thought. Clare's sobs pulled his attention from his thoughts to her. He saw the way she clung to his shirt for dear life, as if she were drowning and he the only buoy in the water.

He hushed her softly, mumbling, "You'll be ok," in her ear, though he was unsure if he was saying that for her benefit or his.

Clare's sobs soon trickled down into hiccups, then she quieted altogether. Eli thought she was asleep when she'd been quiet for a few minutes, but then she picked up her head and looked at him pleadingly. "What's wrong?" he asked, trying—and failing—to hide the worry in his tone and in his face.

"I'm afraid," she whispered, barely audible.

His eyes softened and his heart broke for her. Eli opened his eyes to Clare and she folded herself in them, resting in the nook between his shoulder and neck. "I won't let him hurt you again, Clare. I won't let anyone hurt you." Eli's words cut through Clare's fear and she looked up at his face, hard and set in determination.

She nodded and closed her eyes to sleep, her dreams Fitz-free.

The nurse in the morning led Clare and Eli down to the front office after explaining that Clare's guardian was there to pick her up. When they reached the front office Clare's mom was waiting for her. Eli studied her face, the smeared eyeliner, the puffy, red eyes. He saw she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. _No,_ he thought. _Not right now, not when she's in this state._

Clare's mom offered to drive Eli back to the school so he could pick up his car (hearse). Eli graciously accepted, but when he got out of the car at Degrassi, Clare followed him, holding onto his hand tightly. "Clare, where are you going?" her mom asked incredulously.

"I don't want to leave Eli right now, mom," she said. He was taken aback, assuming she wouldn't want to be around any guys all things considered. But all the same, he had promised he would be there for her for as long as she wanted him.

"Clare, I think you should be with your father and me," her mom insisted.

Eli could see the biting remark on the tip of Clare's tongue and cut in before she could say something she would regret. "If it's alright with you, I don't think we should be telling Clare she can't be with someone in her fragile state right now." He saw Clare's mom's eyes light up in understanding, then soften in sadness.

"Alright. Please bring her back soon."

Eli nodded and together they watched as the car drove away. Clare turned from her mother's car and hid herself in Eli's chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as they stood there.

They stood together for a while, until Eli asked her if she wanted to talk. Clare shook her head and clung to him tighter. "Don't let go of me, please," she begged.

Eli shook his head. "I won't be letting go any time soon," he replied, and held her tighter.

**Good? Bad? Neither? Please let me know!**

**Em =]**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is chapter three! I'm so sorry for the wait...but I have to be in the right frame of mind to write this story...it's only taken three science tests in a row today to get me in that frame of mind. Lucky you, unlucky me. I will always be publishing one-shots in between chapters (or I should be) so you should really check those out...hint hint. Anyways, this chapter is for all of you, my lovely readers! You rock! Enjoy!**

They were resting on the grass of a hill in the park. Clare's head was tucked into Eli's neck as her body remained snuggled against his. He sat watching her sleeping face, thinking how beautiful she looked, and how he was going to kill Fitz for hurting her. A cell phone in his pocket vibrated, causing Clare to stir gently out of her rest. He soothed her back into sleep and pulled the electronic device out of his pocket. "Hello? Clare's phone, Eli Goldsworthy speaking."

"Mr. Goldsworthy, this is Lieutenant Morris speaking. I'm with Clare's mother right now, and she informed me that Clare was with you right now, is that correct?"

Eli looked down at the girl in his arms. "Yes sir. Clare is right here. May I ask why?"

"I'm sorry to say this, but I'm going to need you to bring Clare down to the station as soon as you can. The nurse at the hospital should not have discharged Clare as soon as she did, and I need an official statement from Clare about what happened last night."

Eli sighed. "She's sleeping right now, but I'll bring her down as soon as I can. It shouldn't be more than an hour before we are down there."

The Lieutenant made a noise that sounded like a grunt. "We will be expecting you."

Eli thanked the cop and shut the phone, throwing it on the ground next to him. "Oh, Clare, you're not going to like what's going to happen these next few weeks. I only hope that I'm enough to keep you sane," he said, running his hand through her hair, staring up at the mockingly bright blue sky.

"I really don't want to do this, Eli," Clare said for the thirteenth time as they pulled into the parking lot at the station. Eli would know, he'd been counting.

"I know, Clare, but this is something that needs to be done." He grabbed her hand tightly. "I'm not going to leave you. I'll be right there."

He saw the fear in her eyes and knew exactly what she was thinking. She didn't want to have to relive that moment, but he knew this wouldn't be the last time she'd have to iterate it. "Do you promise?" she asked him.

Eli smirked. "Nothing could separate me from you. I won't leave you, ever. I've promised before and I'll promise again. As many times as it takes, Clare." His eyes had softened as he'd said that, and she squeezed his hand in thanks.

Her vision narrowed as she stepped through the glass doors into the station. Only Eli's hand, holding onto hers tightly, kept her from passing out from sheer raw fear coursing through her veins. She sat stiff in the plastic chair, her eyes fixated on the wooden desk in front of her. If Eli hadn't expected her to go catatonic he would have demanded someone call a doctor to look at Clare.

She didn't know how long they sat there, so fixated was she on not remembering what Fitz had done to her. They called her into a small room with a large window that most likely doubled as a two-way mirror. The walls were a cold grey and the table and chairs in the center were cold as ice and hard.

The man that had followed Clare and Eli into the room introduced himself as Lieutenant Morris. "Clare, I know this may be difficult for you, but we need to know exactly what happened, in your own words."

"Where are Clare's parents?" Eli asked. He knew this wasn't a true interrogation, but he needed to know that her parents knew what was happening.

"They are on the other side of this two-way mirror," Lieutenant Morris explained, pointing to the mirror behind him. "Now, Clare, let's start from the beginning. Why were you at the dance with Mr. Fitz when it's clear you are with Mr. Goldsworthy."

Clare looked at Eli and squeezed his hand. "I was protecting him…or so I thought."

Morris was confused. "Protecting him?"

Clare nodded. "Fitz and he had been locked in a…I suppose you could call it a war. Eli's been attacked by Fitz way too many times. When he told me I could end the feud I jumped at the chance, even though it meant having to go to the dance with Fitz."

"I shouldn't have let her go."

Morris turned to Eli. "What do you mean?"

"When Clare told me she was going to the dance with Fitz I confronted him. I was angry, I wasn't thinking straight, and I said some pretty stupid things. Fitz told me not to worry, that he'd be gentle when he had sex with Clare." Eli paused and looked at Clare. "I refused to let that happen, so I went to the dance to watch over her, but then I was called home and didn't hear from Clare until I found her on the ground in the locker room, hours after she'd been raped."

"I'm sorry for all the two of you have been through, but I still need to hear from Clare what exactly happened between the time Eli left the dance and then found you."

Clare breathed in deeply. "Fitz led me out of the dance and down to the locker room. I wasn't sure what he was doing…he'd said I needed to follow him if I wanted Eli to be safe. When we got to the room he cornered me. I tried to escape but—" she gasped as tears fell from her eyes. Her eyes opened wide and she began to hyperventilate.

"Clare, we can stop now if you would like," Lieutenant Morris told her.

Clare shook her head, no. "He pinned me to the wall and kissed me. I tried to throw him off…but he was too strong. When his tongue tried to…you know…I bit it and ran for the door when he let me go. I was almost to the door when his hand grabbed my hair," Clare pressed her hand to the back of her head, as if she could still feel his hand fisted in her short locks, "he pulled me onto the ground and I hit my head. I think I blacked out then…I can still remember his hands on my body…and when he raped me fully…I woke up for that…I remember how that felt." Tears were rolling down her cheeks. "I…I can't remember—"

Lieutenant Morris shook his head. "That's quite alright, Clare. We can stop for today." He nodded and the mirror and Eli watched the door open and Clare's mother and father come into the room. Again he saw the lack of ring on her mother's finger. Again he filed it into the back of his mind for future reference.

Clare's mother wrapped her daughter up in a hug and held her, crying over and over about her, "poor, poor baby." Eli's eyes met her father's, who nodded at Eli and walked back out of the room. Eli pretended that was a 'thank you' nod.

"Clare, do you want to come home now?" he heard her mother ask. Clare looked up at him and stretched out her hand to him. Eli locked his fingers with hers.

She looked up at her mother. "Eli comes too…" Clare's mother, as if she'd already decided to let Eli stay by Clare's side for as long as she wanted him, and maybe she had, nodded even before Clare could finish her sentence.

"We can leave right now. Clare, why don't you ride with me?" At the panicked look on her daughter's face she sighed. "Or you can ride with Eli. That would be alright too."

Clare was in the shower. Eli, after inspecting her bedroom thoroughly enough, walked down the stairs to talk to her parents when he heard arguing. He knew what that sounded like, too. "I want you out of this house," a female voice was saying.

"_You_ want _me_ out? _You_ should leave! This is my house!" the male voice countered.

" Get out! Get out and take your problems with you!"

Eli stepped out from around the corner and yelled at the two screaming adults in front of him. "Hey!" When they both looked at him he sighed and threw his hands into the air. "With all due respect what the _hell_ do you think you are doing? Your daughter was _raped_ and all you can think about is your failing marriage? _Damn it_," he cursed. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

Clare's parents gaped at him and he shook his head. "Clare needs support right now. You need to put your problems aside and focus on your daughter. She needs to be your priority right now, got it?" He shook his head again and walked away, back up the stairs.

He looked at the clock and noticed that Clare had been in the bathroom for over forty minutes. His eyebrows furrowed and he knocked on the bathroom door. "Clare?"

When he was met with no answer he called her name louder, with the same effect. Worried as to the reason why she wasn't answering him, Eli opened the door. The water was still running, but he couldn't for the life of him see a body moving around in the shower. He ran to the curtain and pulled it back. Clare was staring straight ahead, sitting on the shower floor, the wash cloth in her hand moving back and forth on her arm. Eli could see the red marks all over her body where it looked like she'd scrubbed so hard it hurt.

He got her attention and helped her stand up, taking the washcloth from her hand and washing out the conditioner in her hair. He wrapped her in a fluffy towel and held her tightly. She'd been muttering something quietly over and over again, and when he finally figured out what she'd been saying his heart broke. "Dirty; dirty; must get clean; not clean enough; dirty; dirty."

He held her tightly even when she tried to pull away. When she cried out her pain he ran his fingers through her hair, trying his best to soothe her.

Eventually she grew exhausted from the crying, and fell asleep on Eli's shoulder, sitting on the bathroom floor, only wrapped in a towel. He found underwear and a large t-shirt she could wear and dressed her carefully, only just seeing the bruises that lined her legs and arms from Fitz. He carried her to the bed and set her down gently, letting her curl against him, and fell asleep himself.

**I would love it if you told me what you think...and I mean really think. Anything that you think I should change or add will make me a better writer...and will make you, my readers, happy! I aim to please!**

**Em =]**


	4. Chapter 4

**I know it's been a little while since I last posted, but I wasn't able to finish this chapter until tonight. I'm finally satisfied with how this turned out, and I'm very excited for the future of this story...big plans, everybody, I've got big plans and lots of time to publish them all. You are all going to be in for a treat! **

**Thank you to everyone who has favorited and commented and alerted me and my stories! You all rock! Now, without further adieu, enjoy chapter four!**

He stared at his hands, turning them over, examining every line, every pore. Fitz could remember the feel of her skin under his fingers, under his hands, and as he sat staring at them, it was as if her skin was still under his, so strong was the memory. He'd never done anything like that before, but it had felt _good_.

He looked up and grinned at the mirror. He knew he wanted to do it again, _needed_ to. It was as if his body was calling for Clare's. Sure, he'd had sex with girls before, but taking Clare was something that had been new to him…and it had made him feel more powerful than he had felt in years.

He was crashing at his friend's house since he knew the police were looking for him at his own. He wasn't stupid enough to go back to his parents, since he knew they didn't want him anyways. He smirked at the thought of adults trying to hunt him down, knowing full well they had his name and information and enough to connect him to Clare's rape.

He closed his eyes and licked his thumb, remembering the taste of Clare's skin under his lips and tongue. When he opened his eyes his eyes were dark with need, and he laughed crazily at the thought of Eli finding his precious Clare broken and shattered on the Degrassi floor.

Eli woke up first. It had been a rough night for him: he kept waking up to check on Clare. Each time he found her safely tucked into his side, sleeping somewhat soundly.

He looked at her face for the eighth time that night and rubbed her arm lightly, his fingers ghosting over the slightly less red welts that were a reminder to him of her episode the night before. Something about finding her so broken, so stuck, burrowed into his subconscious and festered, so that he knew there was something wrong but couldn't exactly put his finger on it. He worried she'd try to hurt herself in different ways, trying to rid herself of Fitz's touch and memory.

She stirred slowly, waking up to see Eli gazing down at her worriedly. She sat up fully and pulled her arms close to her stomach, scooting as far away from Eli as she could. She wouldn't look in his eyes. "Clare," he said, but she shook her head.

He reached out to touch her but she shied away. He wondered if she was mad at him for dressing her last night, for walking in on her shower. In truth she was scared of what she'd done and just wanted to be alone to think. He pulled his hand back and stood up. "I'm going to go get you some breakfast." She nodded, still looking away, and he left.

When he was gone she stood and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were dark, clouded with misery, and there were red welts on her arms from where she'd scrubbed them raw. She shifted and winced, looking under the shirt to find more red mixed with brown and purple bruises. She touched the bruises gently, tracing their outlines. One looked like the outline of a finger, another a hand. She felt tears running down her cheeks and frantically wiped them away.

She got dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and sweat pants and walked down to find Eli. She found him in the kitchen, trying to figure out how to turn on her stove. She smiled at the scene and walked up behind him, turning on the burner with a side smirk at the helpless boy beside her. He looked surprised to see her up and walking around.

"How are you feeling?"

She turned and walked to the refrigerator, pouring herself a glass of orange juice with the carton she pulled out. "No better…no worse." She sat down at the table and watched him make French toast. "I still feel terrible."

He turned to her. "I'm surprised you're up."

She looked at him, then out the kitchen window. "I am too. Last night I felt like my world had ended. It seemed like there wasn't anything I could do to get the picture of Fitz out of my head. He was there, every time I closed my eyes, smiling at me, preying on me." She rubbed her arms lightly, as if remembering her shower the night before. "I can still feel his touch on me…sometimes I can't breathe, like his lips are covering mine, not letting me get ample breath." She stopped rubbing her arm and took a sip of juice.

Eli looked at her, sitting at the table, looking out of the window, and wished things were different. _She's so strong,_ he thought. _She was raped two nights ago, and she's, well, not _fine_, but she's getting better._ He couldn't help himself, he wanted to tell her he loved her, that she was so strong, and that he admired her for that and loved that part of her. But he kept his lips shut, his mind away from those betraying thoughts, and went back to cooking.

"I never thanked you for rescuing me, Eli, for finding me. I'm not sure what would have happened if you hadn't found me…what I would have done."

He flipped two pieces of toast onto a plate, shut the burner off, carried the plate and syrup to Clare, and set everything down with a flourish. "Your breakfast, my dear," he said with a smirk and a short, but needed, kiss to her forehead.

She looked up at him. "Thank you."

He waved his hand in a "don't worry about it" gesture, but she caught it and held on. "I mean it, Eli. I know I'm not really ready to love anyone right now, not completely ready to trust anyone, but I think that you are the closest person to me right now. I…how I feel for you right now? That's the closest I think I'm going to get to love for a while."

He looked at her and pushed hair back from her face with his free hand, and looked into her eyes. "Clare, I swear to you, I will never leave you. And, well, I'm not sure if I can love either, but you are the single most important person in my life right now. And when you _are_ ready to love, I will be here for you. I'm not going anywhere. For as long as you want me, I will be by your side."

She looked up at him and grasped both of his hands in hers. "Thank you, Eli. I…you cannot imagine how much that means to me, especially at this point in time."

He lowered his head until they were face to face. "I think I understand more than you give me credit for. Now," he said, pulling back, "eat your breakfast. We can do whatever you want to do today, go to the park, out to eat—"

She cut him off. "Can we just watch a movie?"

He nodded with a knowing smile. "A movie it is. Eat, I'll find us something to watch."

He turned to walk away but her voice stopped him. "Thank you, Eli."

He turned, nodded, smiled, and walked away.

**Worth the wait? Or are you still mad at me for taking so long to re-post? Let me know!**

**Em =]**


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